Sunday, July 30, 2006

Get that finger out of my face, bitch, I'm fucking the president

I was surprised by the details of the U.S. offer to Hezbollah
Politically, the centerpiece of the plan requires Hezbollah to surrender the military force and formidable weapons arsenal it spent 24 years building, and which has given it special standing both in Lebanon and well beyond its borders. As the only Arab force that has ever made Israel retreat in six decades of regional warfare, Hezbollah would effectively have to give up being a regional player and make its own retreat to local Lebanese politics, where it would be just one of 17 recognized sects in a country 1,000 square miles smaller than Connecticut.
Hell, why are we low-balling them? Why not just start off by asking the Hezbollah representatives to shoot themselves in the head? That's an even more effective tactic. Why, just the other day, a large dog sought to hump on my leg. I was stern, but fair, when I said, "This is unacceptable behavior. I require that you castrate yourself!" Damn me if he didn't do just that, right away. Good doggie.

So, the U.S. negotiation to halt the war is in bad faith. It is a transparent attempt to let Israel completely win this misbegotten war, which it can't. Seeing this kind of imbecilic incompetence must be hard on the professional staff at Foggy Bottom. It will take a decade or more for the U.S. to recover from this reckless support of Israel in the opinion of much of the world, and many people will never forget and never forgive. Sigh. I need a Canadian t-shirt, or hat, or something...

If you want more rational analysis of the current crisis, the non-partisan Congressional Research Service has a report released on 21 July called "Israel-Hamas-Hezbollah: The Current Conflict" (25 page pdf)

(AP Photo/Dita Alangkara)


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